Welcome to the world of Double Entendre Jokes — where wit meets clever wordplay and humor takes on a whole new level! If you love jokes that make you think twice and laugh out loud, you’re in the right place. Double entendres are those brilliant phrases or sentences with two meanings — usually one innocent and one a bit cheeky — that add a fun twist to everyday conversations.
Why are double entendre jokes so popular? Because they’re not just funny; they’re smart! They let you enjoy a clever play on words that sparks imagination and keeps humor fresh and exciting. Plus, mastering these jokes is a great way to impress friends, break the ice, or simply brighten up your day with a dash of sophistication and silliness.
Double Entendre Jokes That Are Perfect for Every Occasion
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything — just like my jokes!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down!
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- I wanted to learn to juggle, but I didn’t have the balls.
- The mathematician’s plants didn’t grow — they had too many roots.
- I once got into a fight with a broken elevator — it was wrong on so many levels.
- I told a chemistry joke once, but there was no reaction.
Clever Double Entendre Jokes for Work and Office Fun
- I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats — prophets are going through the roof.
- I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me. He asked which ones. I said the electric, water, and gas companies.
- I’m great at multitasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- My desk is like a sauna — papers everywhere and a lot of steam.
- I asked my coworker if he wanted to hear a construction joke — I’m still working on it.
- The meeting was so long, even my coffee went cold and left.
- I wanted to become a banker, but I lost interest.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze on me.
- I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.
- The office chair is the real MVP — it always supports me.
Flirty Double Entendre Jokes to Break the Ice
- Are you a magician? Because whenever you’re around, everything else disappears.
- You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.
- Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
- I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
- Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
- I was blinded by your beauty — I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
- Do you believe in fate? Because this feels like more than coincidence.
Punny Double Entendre Jokes for Food Lovers
- I’m on a seafood diet — I see food and I eat it.
- Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu — you get what you deserve.
- Lettuce romaine friends forever.
- I don’t trust people who dislike pizza — they’re too cheesy.
- Olive you from my head tomatoes.
- I asked the sushi chef if he could make a joke — he rolled with it.
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Bread puns are on a roll right now.
- I don’t carrot all about your opinion.
- Don’t go bacon my heart!
Funny Double Entendre Jokes
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. 🍞
- I told my sister she shouldn’t be so greasy; she said she’d oil her way through life.✨
- I have a friend who named his dogs “Rolex” and “Timex.” They’re his watch dogs! 🐕
- I once went to a bar on the moon; the beer was great, but it had no atmosphere. 🌌
- My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing! ♟️🥊
- I’m on a whiskey diet; I’ve lost three days already. 🥃
- My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward! 🏃♂️
- I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind! 🧠
- I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there. 🚦
- I applied for a job at a bakery; I kneaded the dough! 🍰
- I got a new job as a programmer, but I didn’t get enough bytes. 💻
- The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran. 🥗
Short Double Entendre Jokes
- I’d tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience! 🚀
- The mathematician’s plants stopped growing; he kept getting root bound. 🪴
- I didn’t choose the lumberjack life, the lumberjack life chose me! 🌲
- When I proposed to my girlfriend, she said, “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” 🧈
- I got a job at a coffee shop; I’ve heard it’s a latte work! ☕
- This morning I swallowed a fly; I guess I’m buzzing now. 🐝
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now! ➡️
- I’ve got a job at a bakery because I kneaded the dough. 🍞
- The gardener’s favorite was always the thyme he spent with his plants. ⏳
- I once had a dog that could do magic tricks; it was a real pup-illusionist! 🎩
- I made a pun about the wind, but it blows. 🍃
- When my math teacher asked me to solve for X, I replied, “Y?” ➕
Double Entendre Jokes Reddit
- I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high; she looked surprised! 😲
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes; she gave me a hug! 🤗
- I know they say money talks, but all mine says is, ‘Goodbye!’ 💰
- The police are here; I think they have their eyes on me! 🚨
- I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands. 🎹
- I met a girl who said she enjoys mushroom hunting; she’s a fungi! 🍄
- My friend is a marathon runner, but he can’t keep up with my puns; they’re just too fast! 🏃♀️
- The photographer got fired; he couldn’t focus! 📸
- I once dated a girl who was a real pain in the neck—turns out she was a chiropractor! 🩺
- I’ve got a joke about pizza, but it’s cheesy. 🍕
- My new book on anti-gravity is impossible to put down! 📖
- I used to be a train driver, but I got derailed! 🚂
Double Entendre Jokes One Liners
- I never trust stairs; they’re always up to something! 🏞️
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down! 💨
- Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything! ⚛️
- I broke my arm in two places; I won’t go there anymore! 🦴
- I have a fear of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. 📈
- I have a class in minimalism; I want to learn how to be less! 🪴
- I coined a new word: plagiarism! 📜
- I’m terrible at math, but I’m great with numbers; I count on my fingers! ✋
- The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran. 🌶️
- I didn’t want to believe it when my dad told me he was stealing from his job as a traffic cop; but when I got home, all the signs were there! 🚧
- I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day. 🐕
- Mr. Peanut and I are like two peas in a pod; we just want to shell-ebrate! 🥜
Double Entendre Jokes for Adults
- I’d like to give a big shoutout to my liver; it’ll be back in working order next week! 🍻
- I’m reading a romance novel; it really intensifies the emotional baggage! ❤️
- The chef made a bad joke; it didn’t sit well. 🍽️
- I hear you’re a learner; ‘Mature’ is just one word away from ‘matured’! 🍷
- I wrote a book on procrastination; I’ll finish it tomorrow. 📅
- I finally found out why my girlfriend laughs at my jokes; she’s under the influence! 😄
- My wife and I were happy for 20 years… Then we met! 💍
- I told my therapist about my insecurities; he suggested I bring a friend to resolve them. 🤔
- My partner’s cooking taught me patience; some spice takes time! 🍲
- I had an affair with an air conditioner; it blew me away! ❄️
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest! 💳
- I’m quite fond of elevators; they lift me up! 🚀
Double Entendre Jokes In English
- I told my teacher my dog ate my homework; she said it was a ruff excuse! 🐶
- I went to buy some camo pants, but couldn’t find any! 👖
- I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it. 🕰️
- I started a band called “999 megabytes;” we haven’t gotten a gig yet! 🎶
- I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was just winging it! 🐔
- I’m on a whiskey diet; I’ve lost three days already! 🥃
- I’m addicted to soap; I can’t help but wash my hands of it! 🧼
- I wanted to be a magician, but I just never made the cut. 🎩
- My calendar was like my girlfriend; it had too many dates! 📅❤️
- I gave up my seat at the cinema for a puppy; it was a pawsitive experience! 🎥
- I visited the doctor for my insomnia; she said to stop stressing over it! 💤
- I guess I’m just a natural born loser; I were my own worst critic! 😬
Clean Double Entendre Jokes
- I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands! 🎹
- The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
- I told my friend she should tailor her own clothes; she replied, “Sew what?” ✂️
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down! 📚
- I have a fear of elevators; I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them! 🚶♂️
- The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran! 🌶️
- My friend has a job as a professional golfer; it’s a real driving job! ⛳
- I’m writing a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap. 🎤
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia; she whispered, “They’re right behind you!” 📖😱
- I once dated a girl who was a real pain in the neck; turns out she was a chiropractor! 🩺
- I made a pun about the wind, but it blows! 🌬️
- I used to make a lot of puns; now I’m just feeling unpunny! 😜
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